oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
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You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.