Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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