I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.