WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
These 19 Sad People Chose Video Games Over Sex
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me