in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face