I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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