Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
