I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
