And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
