I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
