That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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