If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
