Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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