Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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