do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
