I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize