Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Your tits are I can't wait for
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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