Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
