Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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