I heard we made out
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
