So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
