apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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