the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
