She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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