some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
