mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I enjoy the company of your penis
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
