Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Who died my cat blue again?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
