At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
