As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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