I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
