she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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