sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
