My entire life is one complicated drinking game
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
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there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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