hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
