Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
