i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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