You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
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found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
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I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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