Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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