Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
