do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
