Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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