How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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