just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize