the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize