i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
