is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
