And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
