I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
