he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
