I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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