Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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