i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
