apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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