we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
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Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
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We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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