as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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