:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
