I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
