May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
