so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My dick has a subreddit
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
