I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
