so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
No more Irish car bombs ever.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
