Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
