I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
