I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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