We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
