yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
