Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
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I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
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Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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