i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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